is it okay to not know what I want?
I lie awake under the stars –
they’re spinning – before returning
to the tend with empty bottles
of sauvignon blanc well gone.
Is it okay to not know what
to believe, to be equally torn
between confusion and the secret
of what I really want to believe?
The shame makes its way out of
my mouth into loaded air,
familiar words that fall lame
on even my own ears. I have become
friendly with sparrows
and frustrating flatmates and neighbors,
I can see how the flowing river
of love and spiritual existence is
always moving, changing, rubbing me raw.
∞
Alexis Draut is a native Kentuckian, born and raised in both Louisville and Danville, KY. She heavily associates with her sense of place, whether that be her homes in Kentucky, Georgia, Colorado or New Zealand.
She became interested in poetry and creative writing at a young age, has taken classes, and participated in poetry groups as well as writing workshops. Her writing heavily revolves around her passions for social justice, gender equality, environmental preservation, spiritual curiosity, the earth, and nonviolence. Her favorite pastimes besides writing are reading, water coloring, gardening, swimming, tide pooling and listening to Brandi Carlile. While Alexis is a newly public poet, she has recently been published in Buddy. A lit zine with her piece “lost”, Jenny Mag (YSU Literary) with “Norfolk pine”, and Havik Anthology with “earthquake.”
